I made the grave error of googling what I should wear based on my body type. This is what I learned:
DON’T WEAR:
- Clingy shirts or dresses
- High-cut shirts
- High-waisted jeans
- Low-rise jeans
- Skinny jeans (maybe you should just avoid jeans entirely, they’re just not your thing)
- Leggings
- Anything that draws attention to your hideous body
- An expression that conveys self confidence as if you are not a garbage person
- Really, maybe you should just stay in today
DO WEAR:
- An expression of abject misery and shame
- Bear suits