Eat Your Heart Out, George Berkeley

January 12th, 2012 § 2 comments § permalink

The child is suffering from a glitch in her soundtrack. She asks ad nauseam, “what’s that noise? What’s that noise?” about every unusual sound she hears, from the tick of a clock to the distant roar of an airplane. We oblige her curiosity and have learned that “I don’t know” is never an acceptable answer.

Tonight I decided to test her abstract thinking skills and posed a common conundrum of arm chair philosophers everywhere.

Me: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around, does it make a sound?

The Child: can I see it?

Me: No. No one can see the tree fall. Does it make a noise when it falls?

Her: Yes.

Me: Why?

Her: Because it does!

Ah, the impeccable logic of a three year old!

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness, Except When It Has to Move Over for Genocide

January 11th, 2012 § 1 comment § permalink

Rant:

Have you noticed that whenever a person uses their power to do something terrible, Christians say that person is “playing God”? They just tacitly admitted that God is an asshole!

I don’t disagree.

New Years Blathering

January 3rd, 2012 § 1 comment § permalink

One of my goals for the new year is to blog more. Also, lose weight, which does not fit in with my other goals to watch more TV and eat more icecream. I can do it all, bitches.

I’m going to try a new style of perfunctory, stream-of-consciousness writing which will hopefully allow me to stave off this crippling writer’s block.

Here is my day in brief, as texted to BFF RE:

Mad at life. Narrowly averted a fire. Have a hangover/headache. Had to work late again. Got home to find contents of freezer melting, including precious icecream. Erik asked me to fold a mountain of laundry that he washed today. I’m sick of folding clothes. Want to go to the ocean, not work and go to school. Am uber grump.