Dear Megsie,
I have multiple personality disorder with two personalities but it is really hard for me to tell them apart because they are identical twins. What should I do? -Man with MPD
Dear Crazy Person,
You clearly need more help than I am licensed to provide. I suggest you create a third personality that manifests itself as a psychologist and get some counseling.
Megsie, Professionally
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Dear Megsie,
I am completely addicted to watching the show The Biggest Loser. I TiVo it and watch re-runs over and over again while eating potato chips. I never leave my house, except to go to the grocery store. As a result, I now weigh over 200 pounds. I don’t know exactly how much I weigh because the scale broke when I climbed on it. Help! I need to lose this weight, but it’s too much work to try and get on the show. What should I do? -Growing Addiction
Dear Fatso
I can’t help you with your obesity issues, but I can offer a suggestion to end your addiction to The Biggest Loser: Imagine all the contestants naked and engaged in a blubbery, cellulite-ridden orgy of elephantine proportions. Come to think of it, this just might help curb your appetite, too. I know I just lost mine.
Megsie, Disturbed
