Daniel Defoe is no friend of mine
His works are certainly all but divine
For if Austen’s are highs, Defoe’s define lows.
He wasn’t a butcher, save of good prose,
For he refused to return and edit his work
Unless someone paid him, the arrogant jerk!
Tho’ sometimes proclaimed a champion of the novel
(And, ‘tis true, I’d read Defoe ‘fore I’d live in a hovel!),
It is far better still on dust to be dieting
Than to try and digest Defoe’s awful writing!
I cannot commend him,
Nor ever recommend him
For Daniel Defoe is no friend of mine.
(Sept. 24, 2008)