Megsie

The child is suffering from a glitch in her soundtrack. She asks ad nauseam, “what’s that noise? What’s that noise?” about every unusual sound she hears, from the tick of a clock to the distant roar of an airplane. We oblige her curiosity and have learned that “I don’t know” is never an acceptable answer.

Tonight I decided to test her abstract thinking skills and posed a common conundrum of arm chair philosophers everywhere.

Me: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around, does it make a sound?

The Child: can I see it?

Me: No. No one can see the tree fall. Does it make a noise when it falls?

Her: Yes.

Me: Why?

Her: Because it does!

Ah, the impeccable logic of a three year old!

This exchange happened one evening while reviewing the alphabet with Little Girl. Using magnetic letters on a board, Little Girl would point to a letter, say its name and I would give an example word.

Little Girl (pointing): “A”!

Me: “A” is for “Apple!”

Little Girl: “B”!

Me: “B” is for “boat” and “banana” and “buffalo”!

Little Girl: “C”!

Me: “C” is for “cat” and “caterpillar”!

Etc., etc.

Little Girl: “V”!

Me: “V” is for, um… “V” is, uh… Hmm… Ahhh…

The Viking: “V” is for “victory”?

Me: oh, thank God. All I could think of was “vasectomy”.

Why yes, we DO have a running bet on who will teach Little Girl her first obscene and/or inappropriate word. How did you know?

Warning, this will probably be offensive to any readers who are not evil atheists. You have been warned.

This morning I educated the Viking on a little Ecclesiastical tradition known as the Paschal greeting:

Me (gesturing towards a certain southward appendage standing cheerfully erect): He is risen!

Him: What?

Me: You’re supposed to say, “He is risen indeed”. All over the world today, people are in church saying that, and I just felt that we should participate.

Ah, what better way to celebrate the integration of a pagan fertility holiday and Christian tradition than with erection jokes?