Dear Megsie,
I have multiple personality disorder with two personalities but it is really hard for me to tell them apart because they are identical twins. What should I do? -Man with MPD
Dear Crazy Person,
You clearly need more help than I am licensed to provide. I suggest you create a third personality that manifests itself as a psychologist and get some counseling.
Megsie, Professionally
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Dear Megsie,
I am completely addicted to watching the show The Biggest Loser. I TiVo it and watch re-runs over and over again while eating potato chips. I never leave my house, except to go to the grocery store. As a result, I now weigh over 300 pounds. I don’t know exactly how much I weigh because the scale broke when I climbed on it. Help! I need to lose this weight, but it’s too much work to try and get on the show. What should I do? -Growing Addiction
Dear Fatso
I can’t help you with your obesity issues, but I can offer a suggestion to end your addiction to The Biggest Loser: Imagine all the contestants naked and engaged in a blubbery, cellulite-ridden orgy of elephantine proportions. Come to think of it, this just might help curb your appetite, too. I know I just lost mine.
Megsie, Disturbed
I have to say that 200 pounds is not as big as you seem to think it is. I bet lots of Americans weigh 200 pounds.
It was a reference to some scales I’ve seen that only go up to 200 pounds, the implication being that the person weighs several hundred pounds MORE than that in order to actually break the scale, but is only knows that they weigh AT LEAST 200 pounds.
For clarification purposes; to which of the personalities are you responding too in the first answer?
Juanny, whichever personality took the time to write, I suppose!
Like your site : )
I HATE IT.
Thanks, Andy.
Matt, I appreciate your strong convictions and I am thrilled to have elicited such a vehement response!
I HATE MATT.