I hate it when Christians (typically pastors/evangelist types) brag, in that faux-humble, it’s-the-Lord-working-through-me way, about the number of souls they have converted to Christianity. It is disgustingly, inexcusably vulgar, and ends up sounding like statistical analysis in the bedroom: a whole lot of numbers combined with Hallelujahs and Praise Jesuses. (Yes, Lords if you’re into a little BDSM).
Do any of you salvation-peddlers recall that Old Testament story where King David decides to tally every soldier he has (see: the Book of Numbers)? And do you remember how God gets really fucking pissed? Yeah, that’s how I feel when you enumerate human souls.
OK, so here’s a recap:
Megan is angry.
God is angry.
Stop pissing us off. Seriously.
It’s all going to burn!!! we need to get the heck out this burning rock!!! This is why numbers are important.
Who cares about quality, all we need is to keep people out of hell… although in that case, wouldn’t it be easier if we just repent our sins before we die?
Iluminanos Megan!
I guess this isn’t a good time to tell you how many souls I’ve turned away from Christianity…
I am actually preaching later this month. I will keep track of the numbers of people who fall asleep.